Hearing the word.

Every time I hear the word “adopted” or any form of that word, I cringe. I get instant goosebumps throughout my whole entire body. It doesn’t matter how it is used, or whether it even relates to the my definition of adoption. I am sitting in a committee hearing, in regards to state legislation, and I heard the word and now all I can think about is what my life became the day I found out I was pregnant and the day I placed my son. My mind is overwhelmed with emotion, and focusing on the task at hand is becoming nearly impossible.. I can’t even focus on the bill I have been working on for months, day in and day out. It is officially on the back burner. I don’t want it to be like this. I don’t want to think about all of this right now. I want to be preparing to testify for my bill. I want to be drafting and sending emails to the media. But here I am, letting all of this run through my head over and over again. I am letting it take over my life.. again. This is nothing new. I sit and I think.


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