Wow. I have been so busy these last few weeks. I was reading over my last post, and what a difference some deep breathes and conversations with loved ones can make. I can’t believe how angry I was at my sons mom. She is such an amazing woman and came in just when I needed her. I will never forget when I stumbled across her ad on Google, looked at her “book” and feel in love. She was everything I could ever want in not just a mom but a person. I am thankful for her every single day. I think anger is gong to come with adoption. Anger comes from hurt for me. I am hurt every day that my son is not with me, but at the same time so happy he is living a life he deserves. I remember flying out to LA to meet her after just a week or so of talking through text and once through Skype. I knew instantly we were brought together by fate. I was only there for the weekend and she wanted to show me what life would be like if I lived there, she wanted me to met the important people in her life. We weren’t going to have time to met the man who would be Jesse’s god-father and she was distraught about it. I remember we were driving under a bridge and I looked at her and said “I will just meet him when I come back”. She grabbed my hand and for the first time in a while I felt happy. It was like both of our prayers and dreams were being answered, and we were doing it for each other. The tragedy I was feeling didn’t have to be a tragedy. It could be something beautiful, a partnership for life. People who know ask me all the time why I picked a single mother, and I always tell them if you met her you would understand. She is amazing and I love her, even through the anger.