I can’t believe it has been so long since I have posted anything. I let myself get so busy with life, that I lost the desire to write. I lost the desire to let out my feelings and share my experiences. I had a conversation with someone the other night and he helped me get back to it. I think in my head I was trying to be a different person. I didn’t want the adoption to define me, and I hear from my mother every time I talk about being open with people about it, that that’s what is going to happen. Right when I get the courage to make calls or visits to my family to tell them, she stops me. I don’t know if it’s because she is embarrassed or a ashamed but I can’t let that keep holding me back. I can’t let her fear become my fear. At the end of the day the only thing we can control is ourselves and our actions/reactions. I want to be open about it and I want to share my journey, because I truly believe it is something that needs to be heard. A new friend helped me see that. I’m vowing to do more. To write more. To share more. To open myself up more.