“The moment”

Every time I am around my mom she brings up “the moment”. The moment every birth mother goes through after the baby is born when she thinks she might change her mind.. I’ve posted about it before but it is such a frustrating conversation with her. She caused a huge mess at the hospital when my son was born and said it was because of “the moment” she saw. That moment everyone talks about, as she says. It didn’t happen. It wasn’t happening and it didn’t, maybe later on a few times, but it didn’t happen there. All of these problems where our families will never, probably, get over. It is heart breaking. My mom has still not reached out to my sons mom to apologize or to come to an acceptance on the situation. My son will probably never come here for a week in the summer, like we had talked about before. It will never happen. Maybe that was just talk to ease the adoption process along, but I trust Kim and trust in her words that she said. I wonder if it will ever dawn on my mom and my family to apologize to her, me and Jesse. I believe in “the moment”. It is every adoptive parents worst nightmare and it happens all of the time. I get it. Part of me wonders if I felt so much love for Kim I didn’t want to let her down. I didn’t want to take this away from her. I know in my heart it was the right decision, and in the end that is all that matters. The moment is real and my strongest advice to be able to overcome the moment for birth parents and adoptive parents is to picture 1 year down the road and 5 years down the road. What does it look like for everyone? Is it struggle or is it happiness and bliss? That is the answer. You chose this option in the beginning for a reason, remember that. My son spent his first birthday in Maui and I graduated college and started a career. That is why I made the decision I did and I will always stand behind it.

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